Little Beard Blue
		By Joshua Kronengold
		To the tune of Little Boy Blue, but Gwen Knighton

Little Beard Blue sails away on the sea
When he's alone, he is in misery.
So he finds a young maid, 
for a month he will woo
No one's as ardent as LBB

LBB sails away with his bride
To his castle so large, makes her mistress inside.
Save one door she can't open,
Yet what can she do?
No one's as curious as Mrs Beard Blue

MBB finds a key to the door
That her husband forbid, while he's out, she'll explore,
But with what she finds there, she knows not what to do.
No one's as frightened as MBB

LBB has been married before.
All his wives' bones lie behind that locked door,
If he cannot be stopped, she knows what he will do,
No one's as horrid as Little Beard Blue

{ if you -really- want an ass-kicking verse...I wrote this one for
Gwen:
Mrs BB calls her brothers to see 
What a royal abuser her husband can be 
They shall sunder his castle, each stone into two 
Noone lies deader than Little Beard Blue. 
}

Nobody woos you like Little Beard Blue.
Nobody sweettalks like Little Beard Blue.
No one's as lonely as Little Beard Blue
No one can hurt you like Little Beard Blue
No one can hurt you like Little Beard Blue.