View source for Letter from Lammorak to Dane Dodger

My Dear Miss Dodger,

I hope that you are recovering speedily. No doubt you will wish to Publish an Account of the Events leading to your hospitalization. Perhaps you will be so kind as to print the following:

Mr. Darkman, while Denying certain Claims made in the Comet, sent a Letter to me in which he asked for the Sum of $100,000. Otherwise, he said, he would be Forced to Close his Business. His letter to me (enclosed -- feel free to print the full text) is Not that of an Honest Man, but of a Vile Blackmailer. Nevertheless, while I Ascertained that he no longer Enjoyed the Patronage of the Powers of Heartland City, these Powers Informed me that a Peaceful Solution was Preferable to Violence.

I, therefore, Drew $100,000, as Darkman Demanded, and gave this Sum to his Messenger, an Innocent Woman who knew Nothing of his Plans. As per Darkman's Instructions, I made No Attempt to Follow his Messenger. Instead, I Attended the Parade in Honour of Oceanic Independence Day.

Unknown to me, Darkman was also in Attendance, as were several Thugs, whom he Doubtless would claim were Bodyguards. All this I learnt later, for I did not See Darkman or his Thugs, nor did They see Me. I am, therefore, at a Loss to Explain the Events which followed.

As I said, I was Unaware of the Presence of Darkman -- Until his Thugs opened Fire into the Crowd. Turning my Head in the Direction of this Sound, I spared a Brief Glance for their Targets. To this Day, I cannot Fathom Whom they were Firing upon, much less Why. The Coroner? A Young School Teacher? A Family of Five on an Outing? A Stage Magician? The Little Flute Player? The Oboist? All these People and Many More were caught in the Merciless Rain of Lead.

I had Acceeded to All of Darkman's Demands, Foul though they were, in the Hope of Preserving Peace and the Lives of his Victims whom he calls Clients. Without Hesitation, he ordered his Thugs to Open Fire into a Crowd, upon No Provocation -- for I would Stress that they were Not Firing in my Direction.

Such action is Reprehensible and shows Callous Disregard for Life. How much more Outrageous must such an Act be when it is conducted on the Day of Oceanic Independence? How much more Callous when Countless Innocent Bystanders were Present? I dispatched one of the Thugs with my Knives, only then seeing Darkman. With the Help of Civic Minded Persons, the other Thugs were quickly Dispatched. Mr. Darkman then took a Tall Short-Order Cook hostage.

What was I to do? I had already Acceeded to his Demands, and Behold the Bloody Result! This was not merely an Arrant Knave, but a Lunatic with No Concern for Life. I dared not leave the Cook to his Tender Mercies. Indeed, my Fears were Justified, for this Foul Villain put a Bullet through the Head of his Hostage and Fled into the Crowd, pausing only to Disguise himself so that he might escape that Justice which he Richly Deserves.

Moreover, I later Learned that even his Innocent Messager was not Safe from his Foul Depravities. For, as she related, upon Delivery of the Money, she was Cruelly Kidnapped, forced into a Car, where only her Quick Wits saved her.

The next day, this Innocent Messenger, along with Myself and several Allies, was arrested on False Charges by this same villain, Darkman, disguised as one Sgt. Shmatta, who, I must add, is a Fine Upholder of the Law. The Imposter dropped us in a pool full of Alligators, from which we Barely Escaped. But I do not wish to dwell upon the details now, for I must take Action to Preserve this City. I have given you the details of my Plan; you must Act as you see Fit.

I remain

Sir Lammorak de Gales, in service to Heartland City