Lillian's Letter to Her Unborn Child

My Darling Child,

Know that you are loved. The Dark Mother loves us all, but she has loved me very well, and has allowed me to emulate her in all things. Kali ceased her dancing for a time to succor the infant Shiva. The Destroyer had taken the form of an infant, to remind Kali that she was a mother. And so The Darkness that gave rise to all things nurtured the god who will one day destroy them. So I have been blessed with the chance, however brief it may be, to care for you.

Know this about your mother: there was a darkness about me. Others may try to shield you from this fact. Forgive them, they mean well. I have always found beauty in darkness. It is possible that you will find a darkness within you. Try to see its beauty.

It is likely that you will not fit well in most societies. You can blame me for that. I would apologize, but I must believe that it is part of Kali’s plan for you, as it was Her plan for me. I will attempt to give you an advantage I did not have, an understanding of your nature, and a sense of purpose to answer the question, “why was I made this way?”

You were made to protect those who live in the light, though you may live much of your life in darkness, and be comforted by it. Kali loved me very much to give me this sacred duty, and with love I pass the duty on to you.

There will be joy and sorrow in your life, and I hope to be there to share some of it with you. You may find some of that joy and sorrow in strange places, as I did. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. The world is a strange and terrible and wonderful place, more so than words can express. You are part of the world, and you will be strange and terrible and wonderful, and that is the most human thing you could be.

I hope this is the first of many things I have to tell you, though honesty compels me to say it may be the last.

Study, learn, practice, find and make beauty, enjoy life, grow strong and able. Love your friends and family and treat them well, according to their needs. Love your enemies and deal with them swiftly and mercifully. Love the world, especially when it seems unloveable. Love yourself all the more.

All my love,

Your mother,

Lillian Avery