Itras By: Exit, Pursued by a Bear

21 February 2014, 2-6pm: Itras By: "Exit, Pursued by a Bear"

Itras By is set, according to the GM, in a Surrealist Absurdist Generic 1920s Europe. This meant that it was useful that I'd recently run a play test of Dreamhounds of Paris, which gave me a basic grounding.

My notes say:

• Something Strange
• Something to come into play
• Intrigue Magnet -- Goal

The events of the game were both delightful and surreal. The mechanics are fairly minimal, consisting of an occasional card pull from a deck with variants on "Yes, and", "Yes, but", "No, and", and "No, but".

GM: Keith Stetsin

Brand Robbins: Pasha Maharab, the oldest man in the world. He keeps his memories under his hayt, but they're always running away. He wanted a shelf to contain and display his memories.

Me: James Smith, now Snowflake. Formerly a clerk; now a cat. (I took my inspiration from Coleridge Cook's (and Franz Kafka'a) Meowmorphosis.) We decided that he was the son of the oldest man in the world. He wanted to know: What happened to Mother?

Joanne Charambura: Sketch, a stick figure. Sketch wanted to be a journalist!

Misha Bushyager: Madama Mousekevitch, a Tarot reader who can't remember what the cards mean. She wanted to recreate her grandmother's Borscht recipe

Michael Capron: Jacques, a 16 year old time traveler, from 1780. Pasha had met him in the 1780s. He wanted to know: Was the French Revolution a good idea?

We decided that Sketch was from one of Madama Mousekevitch's cards -- the fortune teller had a hand drawn stick figure tarot deck. Sketch had been the Hierophant. Snowball thought she was a Big Ball of String!

I think Madame Mousekevitch and Pasha Maharab were having tea and cake together.

Pasha Maharab: My memories are not particularly spiky... but, perhaps they are.

Tea and Cake Cafe supplied fish for Snowflake, I think.

Jacques, remembering the ideals of Fraternity, Liberty, and Equality, decided to go to the Fraternity to figure out if thebFrench Revolution had been a good idea.

This lead us briefly into Monty Python:

Let's not go to the Fraternity. It's a silly place. It's only a model.

Fortunately, Itras By is one RPG that can handle a brief detour of that kind.

Jacques asked if the men of the Fraternity had Liberty.

Fraternity Man: Yes, we do. We have two kinds.

Jacques: Liberty AND Equality.

They confirmed this, directing him to the Tea parlour. Where else, after all, would one purchase Equali-Tea or meet Liberty? Although, Jacques was informed, in a hushed whisper, rumor had it that Liberty secretly practiced -- Tatting!

Fraternity Man: Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go drink gin and have a bath together.

Meanwhile, Sketch faced her own unique challenges.

Sketch: I think I'm Struggling with A Typewriter vs writing with myself.

Someone (I forget the context): Anything for a fellow journalist.

Pasha Maharab and Madama Mousekevitch went out. My notes have a picture of Snowflake on a leash that lead not to his father's hand, but to his father's head. His father wore a top hat.

Pasha Maharab's memories continued to come out of his hat. These included a miniature Napoleon, possibly because of meeting Jacques.

Jacques (I think): I came here!

Pasha Maharab (I think): Well yes, so did I, but how did you -get- here?

Later (guessing at the speakers):

Madama Mousekevitch (as Napoleon runs around pricking people with his tiny sword): You're a very violent person!

Napoleon: It's how I got where I am!

Madama Mousekevitch: A small person in a hat.

Someone: What is he talking about?

Napoleon: We have never made a Persia?

Pasha Maharab: Not successfully.

GM: "What have you got in your pocket, besides Napoleon?" -- What an interesting question!

I think the pocket in question belonged to Jacques. By now, he was at the cafe. Each table had a fish one put a candle into. The light thus created came out of the fish's mouth.

Meanwhile, someone was trying to pronounce Madama Mousekevitch's name: Myskovitch! Ah! Moskovitch!

I forget the context of this:

It's okay -- we'll collect payment later Uh oh. Is it just me, or does that sound ominous?

A card was pulled to determine whether Pasha Maharab's latest idea for the shelf for his ideas would work. The card was a "No -- AND" card. Pasha wondered if perhaps a shelf might not be the goal after all. Perhaps a card catalog would work better.

Napoleon tried to set Jacques on fire.

Snowflake: Meow!mrrrrrr!

Someone: That man's on fire!

Pasha: Back in the hat goes Napoleon!

Pasha (I think): I remember Napoleon -- he was such a -sweet- man.

Jacques asked for an introduction to Liberty, a woman sitting at one of the tables.

Someone: My friend over there -- the one with the fire in his pants -- would like to speak with you.

Liberty allowed Jacques to join her.

Jacques: I wanted to hear it from you -- how is Liberty?

Liberty: Don't make me say it.

Jacques: It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Liberty: I'm so glad to hear you say that, Jacques -- you have a certain je ne sais quois. Perhaps we should go somewhere that's not on fire.

Someone, OOC: That means he'll have to take his pants off.

Again, the rumors of the scandalous art of tatting were whispered about.

Someone (clearly scandalized): You -know- what lace is used for?? Doilies! Tea cosies! Antimacassars!

Pasha: Please -- there are women and children present!

Chaos started to break out.

Pasha (I think): I think it's time to collect our things and make our -- es-- exit, not escape -- I did NOT say that!

Pasha, Snowflake, Madama Mousekevitch, and perhaps Sketch as well went to the Library to look at the Card Catalog. Snowflake got distracted by a female cat.

Meanwhile, Liberty brought Jacques to a Secret Tatters' Den!

Everything was covered with lace!

Someone: There's a doily for the doily.

Jacques: Was it all worth it?

Liberty: Maybe it has been. The -people- are just awful -- cut off head for being who I am -- persecute you for the -smallest- things!

I think a card draw indicated a Change in the Tatters Den Scene.

The previously Shy Demure Liberty revealed lace undergarments and put her feet up. Jacques could see her ankles!

Liberty: I can't do a f*cking thing I want to do -- outside this place. Here, drink this.

Jacques: What is it?

L: <Can't read my notes here -- it looks like "Idemois">

Jacques: Yeah, I could use one of those!

Liberty: Tat parlors are the best! We can hook you up!

Jacques still had not sampled Equali-Tea.

Jacques: I'm trying to figure out if it's all worth it.

Liberty: Probably not -- I mean, Mr. Fish marks it up. It's ridiculous! If you want it to be worth it, you've got to buy it in bulk. Like needles.

Jacques was finding himself somewhat nonplussed by Liberty's transformation. And then...

Cops raided the place!

Cops: Step away from the doilies!

Jacques was arrested and dragged to precinct, which just happened to be on the opposite side of the Library. Liberty was in shackles.

GM: Now there's an image!

Pasha: Let's keep Napoleon in my hat, rather than in someone's pants.

My notes say something about Napoleon Booze, and there's a picture that I think was meant to depict Snowflake jumping off the counter to chase a mouse:

====oo

[ ] 00

      00 mouse!

Madama Mousekevitch tried to find an answer to the problem of displaying Pasha's memories.

Madama Mousekevitch: Maybe door with glass front?

Pasha: Then my memories will suffocate!

Madama Mousekevitch: Glass door with air holes?

Sketch: -Mesh- with lace!

Pasha (scandalized): You can't -say- that in public!

Snowflake and the other cat chased each other into the police station.

Someone suggested Pasha put his memories into a filing cabinet. He pulled out a small woman from either his head or his hat.

Pasha: She's my wife. I can't put her in a drawer. (pause) It's a good idea, but I don't think it will work. Not all my memories are nice. But I don't want to put them in a drawer.

I forget the context of this:

Someone (to Sketch): You -were- on printed matter -- and now you -create- printed matter!

And of this:

I lost another one, Chief!
Shameful! Right this way.
Liberty!

I think the first two lines were said by a cop and the police chief respectively, but I don't know who they'd lost. Perhaps Jacques, as my notes say: "Reappear with future Clerk with message for the Cat."

Someone (quite possibly me): Well, the Cat is -busy-!

Indeed, at one point, he had to soothe the cat he was wooing, as she was understandably annoyed when he got distracted.

Madama Mousekevitch tried to read her cards

Ooh -- tall dark stranger!
-Oh- my aunt's going to come into 
money -- that's a surprise!

I forget the context of this:

These are -cops-, not -cats-!
Well, I suppose technically I'll be putting the toast in 
the toaster 3 years from now.

Me: How many bastard kitty kats do I have?

Someone: Oh my goodness!

I think Jacques's future self tried to advise him.

Jacques: I have to trust him! He's me from the future!

GM: Your logic is impeccable! What's your verdict on Liberty?

Jacques: Liberty is a messed up kid.

GM: Do you release her?

Jacques: No -- I want to get away from that weirdo!

Liberty: I thought we had a connection!

-- -- --

Jacques (I think): The cat's me!

Pasha (I think): Somehow, I don't think that's true.

I think Pasha met the man claiming to be from the future. Pasha wasn't impressed.

Pasha: Do you think this scam hasn't been pulled on me before?

He ripped the memory (of Napoleon?).

I forget the context of this:

Who are you?
Why does he keep asking the same question?

Madama Mousekevitch: 2 of Cups means --

Jacques: Tipsy, but not drunk.

Pasha: That's what it means for me too!

A card was drawn for what "N." says. I think "N" stood for "Napoleon". The card indicated a mirror dimension, so the group found itself there. Sketch was now a white sketch figure. Snowflake was a white cat, instead of a black one.

Pasha remembered the future -- not the past. And The Man was not from the future!

Pasha: Jacques, where did you find him?

Jacques: 3 years from now.

The Man was the Dean of the Board of Admissions from future -- who was secretly Napoleon!

Jacques: Maybe the message is like a blank card and I should stop worrying about the French Revolution and move on and live my life in the present -- whatever year that happens to be.

My notes say "M. Boviert!" I think he was part of the answer about Equali-Tea.

Sketch and the Knight of Pentacles had A Moment, I think.

Sketch: I'm suddenly inspired to write romance novels.

Jacques: Whatever you do -- just don't make them too linear!

I think by now, folks had left the mirror dimension and were in the regular surreal world.

Someone: M. Boviert -- does he know where to find Equality? In Bulk?

Mammoths came out of Pasha's hat.

Pasha: They're not really Mammoth -- they're Mastodon. A lot of people can't tell the difference -- but believe me, when they used to charge us, you could tell.

Folks went to see M. Boviert. IIRC, this involved taking an elevator inside a tree. I forget who said which line:

What floor?
This is the floor.
When do we stop the elevator?
When you get to M. Boviert.

Folks talked about Equality.

Someone: I know France tried that, but it didn't work out.

Jacques: No?

Someone: They didn't have houses to store it.

Jacques: So seek Equality only after you have proper infrastructure.

Someone: Expose, if you will.

Someone (possibly Jacques): Oh, I -will- -- but what about you, Sketch?

Sketch: I'm going in a different direction.

I forget the context of this:

Bird -- Is that word? -- Oh, you've heard.
Where do we find Bird? -- purveyor.

Bird may or may not have been M. Boviert. To find him, folks had to go to The West, a neighborhood at the top of the Tree District. The elevator bottom was labeled "Tree District".

Someone: Does it shoot out of the building?

GM: Totally.

Snowflake: Mew!

GM: How do -you- handle it?

Jacques: Oh, the wonders of the future! I assume this is perfectly safe.

When they emerged, someone asked if they were in the Tree District or the Forest.

Someone: No, the forest is over there!

The proprietor was not happy to see them. After all, they were notorious for burning down places!

Someone: You have Notorie-Tea?

Proprietor: You don't burn down my shop!

Jacques: Equali-Tea AND Notorie-Tea, and you've got a deal!

Proprietor: And I'll throw in some Beets!

Pasha: That's not really enough beets.

Madama Mousekevitch: _Small_ batch! _Small Batch_! It's for caulking the tub -- just a small crack.

My notes say, "Esteban<-Sexy, tight pants, see him fight." I have no idea what this means.

The tea came with an intricate doily.

Proprietor: Our compliments. Any milk, sugar?

Jacques declined.

GM: Straight Equality!

Jacques: Well, ideally, I'd be having it with Liberty in the Fraternity, but this will have to do.

Jacques's Player: Do I -like- the Equality?

GM: You take a sip and like it! But then you start to choke on it!

Jacques: Well, obviously, I knock over the table in my fit and it has a candle on it!

Proprietor: No! You promised!

Someone: Knock over a pitcher of water?

Someone tried. Sadly, it was only a -picture- of water. Worse yet, it was an oil painting!

Pasha: I think it's time we made our exit.

My notes say "M" burned both shops, but I don't know what I meant, given it seems to have been Jacques. My notes say, "Hexes -- cards was @5", and I don't know what that means either. But, Madama Mousekevitch knew her priorities.

Madama Mousekevitch: Don't forget the beets!

Pasha: They're roasted!

Madama Mousekevitch: Even better!

Folks made their escape, er, exit, and things calmed down.

Pasha (to Jacques): You have been to the Fraternity. You have been to jail with Liberty. You have choked on Equality.

And Jacques's verdict?

Jacques: The future is full of wonders, but the past? The revolution was a mistake.

Pasha: That's what my wife said.

Someone: Fraternity, Liberty, Equality -- and Borscht.

Pasha (I think?): My cat is now my uncle.

Madama Mousekevitch now had 8 dozen beets.

Pasha (thoughtfully): Love. An answer, even if not the one I was looking for -- Borscht.

Maybe displaying or filing memories was not the answer.

Pasha: Maybe I should share all my memories with you. Except Napoleon.

To Madama Mousekevitch, he gave his memory of her grandmother's Borscht recipe.

To Sketch, my notes say, he gave Percy Bysshe Shelley. My notes do not indicate whether this was a miniature of the man or whether it was a copy of the man's poetry.

To Jacques, he gave a Memory Sphere with Napoleon inside.

To Snowflake, Pasha gave the memory of his wife.

Snowflake turned back into a man, buck naked, on the ground, looking up at the memory.

James Smith (formerly Snowflake): Momma.

Madama Mousekevitch handed James a doily, and he tried to cover his genitals with it.

Pasha: My son is in a doily?

Madama Mousekevitch: You'd rather he be naked?

Jacques had wisdom. Sketch had inspiration. Madam a Mousekevitch had her grandmother's Borscht recipe. James had his humanity back, and he and Pasha had their family back, despite their grief at the death of James's mother / Pasha's wife. And, having generously shared his memories with his friends, Pasha found that his remaining memories were not too many to fit under his hat. And, they had learned one final thing.

Pasha: Cats must be treated with respect. They're family -- literally.

And there we ended, on a very satisfying note. Everyone brought their best game, the GM kept up with our creative chaos, and Brand wove it all together for a lovely, comedic ending.