Buckaroo Banzai Larp: Wholly Roamin' Empire

1. Intro

Greg Nagler wrote a sequel to last year's Buckaroo Banzai Larp. This one was called Wholly Roamin' Empire. It was written for 25 players, and Greg thought it should have at least 12. We didn't have that many, so he co-opted his co-GMs as players, bringing the total up to 10. It became 11 for the final hour, as one player had said in advance that he'd be late. And, it ran very well.

2.What Had Gone Before

Red Lectroids working on Earth had brought John Whorfin and others back from the 8th dimension. The Lectroids had cut a deal with the Japanese ambassador, moving their facilities to Yokohama, because they really liked the name. Greg was baffled about why the player of the ambassador went along with this, but he duly recorded it in the annals of history.

Greg: Sometimes, strange things like this just happen.

Buckaroo Banzai apparently died, as his presence would have solved all problems too easily. Of course, he wasn't dead. The player of the insane Soviet Union General Boris Molotov took the part of Banzai once his original character had been killed, doing a fine job, despite never having seen the movie. He had lousy luck at cards, however, and a climactic face off between Buckaroo Banzai and his evil arch nemesis Hanoi Xan went very badly for the good guys. Penny Banzai, New Jersey, and Pecos wound up dead in a mass shootout.

3. As Our Story Begins

In an understandable depressive fugue, Buckaroo vanished to wander the world incognito. This was a clever GM trick to keep Buckaroo from solving all problems without having to resort to another exaggerated rumor of the Great Man's death.

Meanwhile, on the island of Bananaguay, Dr. Carlo Rivera announced his invention of the Lazarus serum, which could revive the newly dead. Many eyes turned to the island. Now, the fleets of China, Japan, France, Russia, and the USA were there, as were ambassadors from many countries. In this moment of crisis, Mrs. El Presidente was planning one of the world's largest charity concerts, featuring, among others, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, sans their leader.

4. Casting

El Presidente -- the island's dictator, ably played by one of the co-opted GMs

San Juan Juan -- El Presidente's childhood friend. Formerly known as the "Butcher of Bananaguay", he now has the more PR friendly title "Enforcer of the Office of El Presidente. Played impressively by the man who played Mrs. Johnson last time.

Miguel el Culebra -- Minister of Interior Matters of Bananaguay, i.e., head of the secret police.

Dr. Carlo Rivera -- Inventor of the Lazarus Serum, went to NYU Medical School, alma mater of New Jersey and Buckaroo Banzai.

Reno Nevada -- Hong Kong Cavalier, musician, mourning Pecos, his fiance, who was turned into one of Hanoi Xan's zombies, and subsequently killed in a shootout. Played by Joshua Kronengold.

John Whorfin -- Leader of the Red Lectroids. In the absence of enough players to have a Japanese Ambassador, the GM decided that Whorfin had the authority to act as the Japanese ambassador. Played quite well by a boy who seemed to be about 11 or so.

John ? -- I forget which one this was. Maybe John Thorny Stick. One of Whorfin's cronies, played, I think, by the father of the person who played Whorfin.

Minister Kim-Chi Wu -- Chinese Ambassador

Admiral Constantine Molotov -- Russian Ambassador, General Molotov's surviving brother

Margaret Littlecoin -- El Presidente's PR Consultant, hired by his wife. Trying to clean up Bananaguay's image, she has created friendlier titles and got El Presidente to stop shooting people on camera. Played by me.

Irving Albrecht -- International lawyer. Currently aide to the USA Defense Secretary / Ambassador, probably billing her by the hour.

5. The Game

As Greg decided how he wanted to cast me and handed me my character sheet, Josh quipped that I wouldn't be playing Penny Banzai again. He was wrong.

Yes, Penny Banzai had miraculously survived! How, you ask? Quite simple.

Last year's game established that New Jersey had been working on a ressurection serum. It had worked in play to save two people at death's door. New Jersey had used it before the start of the current game to bring Penny back from the dead.

For, Dr. Rivera was none other than New Jersey himself! Yes, New Jersey and Penny were undercover in Bananaguay, unknown to the Hong Kong Cavaliers, or even to Buckaroo Banzai himself! Why? They were setting a trap for none other than Hanoi Xan himself! New Jersey's Lazarus serum could theoretically be used to free one of Xan's mind controlled zombies. Xan would surely recognize the threat posed by "Dr. Rivera"'s invention.

This made good 80s pulp sense, leaving me with one question. New Jersey had administered the Lazarus serum to Penny. Who had administered it to the deceased doctor?

Well, as Greg explained at game wrap, when New Jersey had been fatally shot, he had been carrying on his person vials of the serum. The bullets shattered the vials, drenching the doctor in his own serum! I loved the pulp logic of it.

As soon as we started, Penny / Littlecoin approached New Jersey / Dr. Rivera.

Penny: Should we tell Reno?

New Jersey: I was just about to ask you the same question.

They decided not to. Meanwhile, El Presidente held court, inviting each ambassador in turn to make offers for the Lazarus serum. He wanted to keep facilities for the manufacture of the serum on the island, and he responded to the question of exclusivity with amusement.

El Presidente: Exclusivity? I never mentioned exclusivity.

Meanwhile, Greg played various NPCs, including both a messenger who had to indicate to El Presidente that he wished to stop saluting, but couldn't do so until El Presidente returned the salute, and Mrs. El Presidente, who, in her very brief cameo, gave a somewhat annoyed reassurrance to Littlecoin, who'd been sent by El Presidente, that the flowers and other decorations for the concert were just fine, and all preparations were going well.

El Presidente asked Dr. Rivera how many doses he had.

Rivera: Only one. (Littlecoin asks silently whether this is true. He taps 3 fingers on his arm.)

El Presidente decided to have a demonstration and a test. He asked for one of the ministers to volunteer to be shot by San Juan Juan, and then to be revived by the Lazarus serum. John Whorfin's hand shot up.

Dr. Rivera and others explained that the serum worked on humans, not Lectroids. The Chinese and Russian ambassadors declined to volunteer. El Presidente taunted them, asking if no one was man enough to volunteer to be shot. Again, John Whorfin's hand shot up. Penny / Littlecoin, who had once been tortured by Whorfin, suggested shooting him anyway. Finally, someone took action!

San Juan Juan (pointing his gun at his own chest): I regret that I have only one life to give for my El Presidente! (fires, falls down)

Folks were startled, but willing to use him as a test subject.

Littlecoin (removing the (paper) gun from San Juan's hand): I'll just put this over here, so no one gets hurt. (puts it down on the floor)

As Reno examined the body, Littlecoin picked up the gun again, not announcing it this time, and handed it to Reno, behind their backs, in full sight of the gm, who wondered why no one else noticed. San Juan received the Lazarus serum and came back to life.

San Juan (spreading his arms wide): I am naked! (as we all hastily assure him that he is indeed wearing clothes) I am naked! My gun is gone!

Littlecoin: I put it right over there. (points, lifts table cloths, and so on)

El Presidente: Do you mean to say that there is an unregistered weapon on Bananaguay?

Someone: Mr. El Presidente, there are many unregistered weapons on Bananaguay.

El Presidente: Oh, yes. Take another from the armory.

San Juan: But my gun was signed by Reno!

Littlecoin: Ask him to sign your new gun.

San Juan: Yes! Maybe he'll sign it onstage, at the concert!

Reno was intrigued by Littlecoin's actions. As he approached her, she indignantly interrupted a conversation between Whorfin and the Chinese ambassador. For Whorfin had suggested that Buckaroo Banzai's absence might be due to cowardice! Littlecoin retorted that Buckaroo wasn't afraid of anything!

Reno asked her privately if she were a partisan of the Banzai Institute. After all, getting rid of one easily replaced gun was hardly acconplishing anything -- except to tip Reno off that he had allies.

Littlecoin: Give a girl a break! I'm trying to clean up this island.

Reno: One gun at a time?

Reno was also intrigued to learn that Dr. Rivera had goue to the same medical school as the deceased New Jersey and the missing Buckaroo Banzai, and that he seemed unclear on the details at first.

Meanwhile the guy who said he'd show up late arrived. This turned out to be the guy who played General Molotov and Buckaroo Banzai last year. He cautioned that he could only stay an hour. He was given the role of Irving Albrecht, though I thought he was playing Defense Secretary Sumner, although possibly switching her gender to male. This is because he wrote "American Ambassador" on his badge. This was technically accurate, as Sumner wasn't cast. He quickly struck a stern, no nonsense stance at the negotiations.

El Presidente, meanwhile, was getting confused. To the Americans, the people of Bananaguay were citizens, but what did the Japanese call them? What should the Lazarus serum be called in anti-religious countries, like China and the Soviet Union? And how could he give each country its own factory, firmly located in Bananaguay, with Bananaguay citizenry, and without forces from other countries noticing? Littlecoin made him a chart.

Name of Serum -- Country -- People -- Factory Location
Lazarus -- USA -- Citizen -- South
Lazarnikov -- Russia -- Peasant -- East
Mao Tse Tonic -- Chinese -- Peasant -- West
Poke Yo Yo -- Japanese -- Citizen -- North

Reno and New Jersey / Rivera came to an understanding. Albrecht talked to them and Littlecoin, saying that he wasn't fond of music. Then, he started humming a very familiar tune. "I-ah-ah-ah-I don't have anything / Since I don't have you" -- the very tune Buckaroo Banzai sang to Penny at their first meeting!

Penny felt her knees go weak. Albrecht walked off, watched by Penny, Reno, and New Jersey. Reno had a private conversation with Albrecht, telling the lawyer that, sometimes, one needed to get perspective on things.

Albrecht told Littlecoin that she seemed out of place, destined for better things. She stared at him, then went about her business, helping either San Juan or Miguel with tours of Rivera's "facilities", aka a dirty lab with somethiñ dripping into a beaker. The tour guide told the first visitor to get out when time was up.

Littlecoin: Nonono! -This- way to the egress!

He did this for the next tour, and she gave him a thumbs up.

San Juan took people to the bank, for reasons I'm vague on. Greg ably played a very nervous teller.

Teller: And, you get a free toaster!

Some Ambassador: Oh, I don't need the toaster.

Teller (desperately): Please, senor, take the toaster!

The Chinese Ambassador struck an alliance with the Japanese Ambassador, Lectoid John Whorfin. El Presidente spoke with many people and was shot -- by none other than his childhood friend, San Juan Juan!

You can imagine everyone's surprise. Imagine, then, the greater surprise when El Presidente proved unharmed! For, the man shot, and indeed shot fatally, was actually a body double! El Presidente had one or two of these as a special ability.

El Presidente: And I already know everything that was said to my body double before he was killed, because I bugged the room.

A lovely, useful conceit.

San Juan Juan was horrified to realize that he'd shot his dear friend El Presidente. It was as if he had been under a horrible compulsion, like the mind controlled victims of Hanoi Xan! Inconsolable in his cell, his fidgeting frightened away the Chinese Ambassador who had come to see him. Shortly thereafter, he hung himself with his shoelaces, to the horror of his guards, who agonized for hours over whether they should save him. Alas, his determined struggles proved too much for them!

Meanwhile, Penny / Littlecoin tried to confirm a budding suspicion about Albrecht.

Penny: Have you ever mixed windshield fluid and oregano?

Albrecht: That's a strange combination.

The question worked because, in the previous game, in Penny's presence, Buckaroo had called for those very ingredients to revive two of the Hong Kong Cavaliers from the lingering effects of a deadly poison! Or, as Greg recalled Buckaroo's first words on returning from his presumed death in the earlier game:

Buckaroo: Someone get me my sword, six gun, guitar, some windex and Oregano!

And, I had played Penny, then as now, while my fellow larper, now playing Albrecht, had then astonished us all with his spot on performance as Buckaroo! What rare combination to cause such a conjunction between in character and out of character recognition!

Albrecht and Littlecoin talked, having a goofy, pulp, utterly delightful conversation that I wish I could recall and reproduce verbatim. I think Littlecoin said that Albrecht sang quite well, despite his protests to the contrary. He said something self deprecatory. She said something about how something that looked like X really was Y -- I forget what. I think talent looking like luck. Whatever it was, Albdecht went on for a bit about how that wasn't the case, then said something like, "Ah, heck, it really is Y."

Littlecoin said something about how people sometimec had to do certain things.

Albrecht: And sometimes, you have to step back and get a perspective on things.

Classic movie scene, with Albrecht echoing Reno, as he and Littlecoin leaned over a balcony. It's a pity the larp wasn't taped.

Everyone gathered together. Penny silently mouthed "It's Buckaroo" to New Jersey, and perhaps Reno as well, pointing at Albrect from behind, so he couldn't see.

Penny (to Albrecht): Just say the word.

Albrecht: The word?

Penny: Yeah. You know, if you need something.

Shortly thereafter, precipitated by something I no longer remember, the Chinese Ambassador revealed himself as none other than that criminal mastermind, Hanoi Xan himself!

Xan: Miguel, take the formula and deal with Dr. Rivera!

Albrecht: Cavaliers, the Word!

And Albrecht reveled that he was none other than Bukaroo Banzai!

Sure, the Cavaliers had guessed, but no one else had. At one point, someone asked how many of us there were, as he didn't know about Penny and Rivera.

At this point, things rapidly turned convoluted and violent, just as in the previous larp.

Someone: It always starts out like Buckaroo Banzai, but it ends up like Quentin Tarrantino.

As best I can recall:

Xan wore armor and a sword. Buckaroo tried to kick the sword out of his hand and draw his own katana. Don't ask how these bitter enemies fit katanas in their briefcases. After the first round of combat, Buckaroo's player, who had the same lousy luck as last year, asked me to draw his cards for him.

Buckaroo's player (after I did this): That's more like it. I want her to draw my cards every time!

Reno radioed for a Blue Blaze Irregular strike team. Miguel walked toward New Jersey / Rivera.

New Jersey (leveling a (mimed) gun in one hand and holding a paper in the other): Take the formula and go.

Greg looked at the paper, on which was written "THE FORMULA" and started laughing.

Penny tried to shoot Miguel, fearing for New Jersey's life. Both player and character realized the importance of keeping the doctor alive, even if he had sent the formula for the Lazarus serum to the Banzai Institute. Miguel shot at Penny in self defense, but otherwise had no objection to taking the paper and leaving the doctor unharmed. The formula was, of course, a fake, as was the one New Jersey / Rivera had given to El Presidente earlier.

But, what could explain Miguel's actions? Was he in Xan's pay or one of his zombies? If so, why was he so easily satisfied? If not, what was Xan's mysteriously sinister hold on Bananaguay's Minister of Interior Matters?

The sad truth is that Miguel, like so many others, including a couple of people uncast in the game, was in debt to the World Crime League. And, the fiendish head of the WCL was none other than the sinister mastermind, Xan. Miguel had to do a single favor for the WCL, and he had listened carefully to Xan's instructions. Xan said to deal with the doctor, not to commit any form of mayhem on the doctor's person. Xan said to get the formula. Miguel had done all this, and he was now free of the pernicious hold of the WCL!

The Lectroids began shooting at Buckaroo as soon as he revealed himself. The Cavaliers returned fire, wounding, but not killing the thick hided Lectroids. The Russian Ambassador was shot by Miguel, I think, and attacked by the Lectroids. I'm not sure why, apart from sheer mayhem, but he wound up dead. Nor was he the only casualty, thanks to at least one lousy draw by Team Banzai.

Greg: A stray bullet hits an innocent fan. (as fan) Ah, I have been shot by the Hong Kong Cavaliers! My life is complete! (dies)

Nevertheless, despite the Lectroids' hide and Xan's armor, the Cavaliers' renewed unity and determination carried the day. Xan was forced to retreat, overtaking a fleeing El Presidente and commandeering his private escape boat. John Whorfin ran away, then came back, then fled again, followed by his assistant. I forget what the assistant had that motivated Whorfin to wait for him, or exactly how they escaped the incoming helicopter with the Blue Blaze Irregular strike team. Possibly, they used their Secrit Weapon, a garbage truck which I think they had intended to use to throw rocks at the offshore fleets.

Someone: Yes, only Lectroids would think a garbage truck on a tropical island was inconspicuous.

Team Banzai was very bruised and battered, but, thanks to New Jersey and the ressurection serum, there were no fatalities. Reno made a personal vow.

Reno: Invent armor. Now.

[Greg noted in email that Josh could have specified that Reno was going back to the Hong Kong Cavaliers' bus and putting on armor and other gear. He agreed that he should emphasize more strongly that folks can try anything they like.]

6. Game Wrap

Much of what was covered here was worked into the write up. I also learned that, yes, Xan had mind controlled San Juan Juan. He had earlier tried to control New Jersey, to Greg's consternation.

Greg: New Jersey had only two cards to resist mental challenges, so I thought Xan would learn everything right then. But he pulled a king and resisted mental domination.

I asked if I could have a copy of all the character sheets, as Greg was kind enough to give it to me last year. This year, he demurred, as he wants to tweak the sheets and re-run the game next year, hopefully with a full cast. He did let me take all the unused sheets, and I have mine, Josh's, and the one for Albrecht / Banzai. We probably won't make GenCon Indy or Origins next year, alas, as we want to make InterSection in Glasgow and do not have unlimited resources. I hope we'll be able to make the 3rd Banzai larp, whenever Greg runs it. He said he'd probably combine events from all runs of Wholly Roamin' Empire to form the back history of the 3rd larp.

IIRC, prizes for roleplaying went to the players of Hanoi Xan and San Juan Juan. The players of El Presidente and the Russian Ambassador were disqualified because they were drafted GMs.