Jeremiah Rhodes's 2nd Letter to Martin

Beloved,

If I still had a mouth with which to speak, my lips would trace the echoes of the many times we have lied to each other. I can imagine your face now. No, do not say anything. We both know it is true. The little lies to make life easier, to be kinder to each other, so that we would not make each other worry. You are better versed in them than I am.

(Do you know that I love that about you? You are fluent in many languages, and lying is hardly the least among them, and you are so talented in everything you touch. I think we both understand, better than most, the purpose of lies.)

I cannot lie to you now. I cannot stomach the thought. I thought I had lost you, had feared I would horrify you if ever I regained you, and yet -- none of that was true, and you were as kind, and loving, and precious as you have ever been to me. And so, I cannot lie to you.

I wish to have a body again. I wish this deeply. That I would depend on your actions bothers me not at all; I am dependent now, bodiless as I am, and I have in some ways always been dependent on you -- life would be only a pale shade without your love to warm me.

But Martin, please understand, I do not wish this at the cost of your life, your soul, or your happiness. If you can trade with the King In Yellow for my body without putting yourself in danger -- then yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I wish for my body. But if not, oh, my darling, there is nothing he could offer me that would be worth losing you. Besides, no body of mine would last long without you. You are not the only one who is in love, and beloved, and desperate.

If there is something you have not told me -- I cannot demand that you do. You do not have to tell me. I will understand if you do not. But please, Martin. Please. We could be happy together as we both are now. That I cannot hold you in my arms or kiss your lips -- that is only a small thing, compared to all else that we could lose. I do not have much now, but among them is our love, and I cherish that, above my body, above my life, above all things.

Yours,

Jeremiah