You Can Build a Monster ("Grew it myself")
	by Joshua Kronengold
	to the tune of Bill Sutton's "Do it Yourself";

I tried to buy a monster, but they told me I was mad,
That outside of late night movies there ain't monsters to be had.
So I'll show them all, destroy them with a creature of my own,
For you can build a monster from the things you find at home.

 ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax, 
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Now, a monster is an animal that's grown to giant size
Godzilla's just a lizard, 
 I don't know how Mothra flies.
So I'll start with a small creature 
stripped of collars, fleas and bows,
And my Fluffy soon will pounce apon the cities of my foes.

 ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax, 
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they  wouldn't  want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home..

Now then, I'll need a chemical, to make my monster grow.
I thought of fertilizer, but I think it's just too slow,
So I answered all the spam I got for just a couple hours
And with all the growth techniques they sent, I'll see my creature towers.

 ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax, 
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they  wouldn't  want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home..

Well, I grew my giant monster, but he's not quite what I planned
He rarely eats up buildings, he likes lying in the sand.
He's the laziest of creatures, prefers orchards for a meal,
But I'm satisfied 'cause Mirimax just offered me a deal

 ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax, 
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they  wouldn't  want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home..